Having fun is not synonymous to being drunk

A cup of coffee won't get you drunk‘Why don’t you drink?,’ is a question I’ve been asked more times than I care for. Pubs and clubs are so central to adult life, so many feel like they need to drink, to be drunk in a social environments to have fun, to fit in. Why does it matter if I don’t drink or if I’ve never been drunk? I still have fun, I relax and you know what I remember all of it, I don’t need to piece together any of the night before or stay in bed the next day.

Almost 2 years after leaving University I’m ready to comment on this subject. There is one thing that has buried itself into my mind and refuses to leave without me passing commentary. Drinking and being drunk.

We were all young all lovely and immature but emerging adults. For many the drinking of alcohol proved their freedom and I am not condemning that but University was the first time I was pushed into a world where I had to explain things I never had to before. Having to sit my friends down and explain the difference between my culture and religion and their lifestyle was weird.  It came to the point where I had to do 2 things. Sit my friends down and explain why I couldn’t drink or go out on late nights but I was more than happy to go for coffee whenever! This confused people and many of my friends felt themselves alienated by this, eventually those newly formed bonds evaporated into acquaintances and turned into passers by in seminars and lectures. Also I had to realise I wasn’t like those people I was trying to be friends with, in many ways, but our lifestyles and our experiences of normal and our definitions of fun were different. I realised that a lot of the people weren’t willing to acknowledge my difference in lifestyle or respect them. I realise that just because I could look past these difference everyone else couldn’t or wouldn’t.

I did what I always have done, I had fun, made jokes, played noughts and crosses in seminars, secretly ate food in lectures rooms (and felt like a rebel) and enjoyed myself with the friends who didn’t make the word alcohol synonymous with the word fun. My friendships changed because those people were unwilling to accept me or make the effort with me unless I went to the club/pub. I wasn’t missing out on anything. I had friends who had been making me laugh until my everything hurt from day one and those are the friends I chose.

For the longest time I’ve held my tongue and not said anything but now I am because it is ignorant and rude when I see tweets, graphics, Facebook statuses, movies or adverts that suggest you need alcohol to have fun. Even everyday conversation turns to drinking on a daily basis. I don’t drink, I never have.

I’m sick to my last nerve of how alcohol and the feeling that it brings has become a lifestyle to sell, something to aim for. As if one is not doing student life properly if they aren’t half out of their mind, arguing or sobbing aimlessly and not remembering what they have said the night before. As if one needs to be buzzed to be brave or to enjoy or to relax. Is this actually a goal?

I don’t get why Friday night means opening a bottle of wine and getting tipsy, I don’t understand why so many people use alcohol as an antidepressant (when it is the opposite), why so many emotions get drowned in bottles and then repeated again and again. How does a beer or glass of wine help you after work? I don’t get that. Go to the gym, go for a run, drink tea. The tipsy or drunk part doesn’t make sense to me and people seem to enjoy it a lot. I don’t question it anymore. But I am tired of being perceived as less fun because I don’t drink. You probably can’t remember all the fun I was having because you were drunk! Really, there are adults in the world who have never had a single drop of alcohol and they are getting on just fine.

8 Best Books of 2015

8 Best Books of 2015In all honesty, I was avoiding this post. Then I decided to get a grip my 8 best books of 2015 is subjective. I have decided to crown and parade these books as the 8 best books of 2015 because fiction or not they have influenced me. The stories I carry with me, the worlds I can taste and escape in, the beautiful writing, the sitting on the very edge of my seat and the characters who remain in my heart and mind long after their journeys are over are all the reasons I love to read. These books had me thinking even after I turned the last page, they had my heart pounding or laugh out loud and I just want to say thank you, sincerely to every single author on this list.

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On trend books and taking the fun out of reading

Books on a shelfBooks. Book blogging. Book reading. Bookaholic. BookTube. We are all a community.

I have been more actively involved in the book blogging community in the past 12 months. Recently after reading my lovely friend Sofia’s, blog post titled The Pressure to Read, in which she discusses the pressure to read leading to book slumps I decided to talk about the reservations I’ve had over the past months regarding the book community that have been erking me too.

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The effects of Social Media on teenage girls

the effects of social media on teenage girlsRecently a friend of mine who has a wonderful blog questioned her self worth in line with her blog value. It reminded me of Essena O’Neill’s sudden departure from social media and the influence social media holds over teenagers, specifically girls.

In regards to Essena O’Neill I’ve seen many people create an argument for pro-Essena or pro-social media. However I don’t believe it is that simple.

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The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey

Book cover of The 5th Wave

The 5th Wave is set in the midst of an alien takeover. This is something I was excited about because I am tiring a little reading about zombie apocalypses. The takeover is done in four waves and we start following Cassie, a teenager who has lost her parents in the first waves, as she runs from and is wondering what the fifth wave will entail. Most of the human population has been wiped out and the aliens are targeting the remaining. Her brother was taken away by the army and she promised him that she would find him, which is what she is doing. So far, so good. Still interested… just about.

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#FeminismInYA is taking over the world…

I host the #FeminismInYA chat which is exactly what it says on the tin – or in this case what it says in the hashtag. Last week we had our fourth successful chat. I decided to record the amazing discussion, because the ideas and opinions presented during the hour long chat are incredible, thought provoking and inspiring to read. I didn’t want to waste intelligence and let these tweets disappear into Twitter oblivion – so I’ve collated the conversation. I hope you enjoy reading!
*The #FeminismInYA chat is hosted by me, Mariam on Twitter via @helloiammariam. The chat is usually every Tuesday evening from 7.30-8.30pm UK time. Anybody can join is by using that hashtag.

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An interview with Melinda Salisbury author of The Sin Eater’s Daughter

Book cover for Melinda Salisbury's The Sleeping PrinceI interviewed Melinda Salisbury author of The Sin Eater’s Daughter. Melinda (Mel) likes to travel, and have adventures. She also likes medieval castles, non-medieval aquariums, Richard III, and all things Scandinavian. The Sin Eater’s Daughter is her first novel. Mel has recently announced the second book in the series: The Sleeping Prince.

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