Is marriage and motherhood synonymous with female success?

Marriage and motherhood












Any topics concerning the role of women in society – the stigmas and stereotypes and unequal treatment or outdated representation in culture or religion frustrates me. Not only do I have to deal with Western stereotypes of women on a daily basis I have to swallow religious misconceptions people have about Muslim women and Asian cultural stereotypes. However after watching iisuperwomanii vlog channel rant I realised I wasn’t the only one who thought about these things.

The topic that seems to be on everyone’s mind except mine right now is marriage. I feel like from a young age Western and Asian culture programme women to want to get married and have kids, then their lives are over.

From a very young age girls are encouraged to believe in their ‘Prince Charming,’ a happily ever after that involves marriage/starting a family. Nearly every Disney movie starts with a damsel in distress and finishes with Prince Charming saving the day or getting the girl despite the efforts of the female protagonist who is portrayed as incomplete without a romantic relationship.

Marriage and motherhood vs Female success: the dichotomy

I am not taking away from being a wife or Mother. These relationships are precious. However when marriage and motherhood become synonymous with female success I become deeply concerned. 

As a 22 year old having stepped onto the graduate career ladder only 5 months ago and left University 12 months ago, marriage is honestly not top of my list.

Why is everyone so concerned about marrying off women? Or asking females about their latest relationship?

There seems to be this silent consensus that marriage and motherhood are the be all and end all in a women’s life. And for some, yes it might be. But for others it is not. If you want to get married/have kids, great, that is good for you, well done – I hope you are happy. But not everyone wants to do this.

An expectation

I don’t want girls/women growing up thinking about this perverted checklist in their head: finish school, get married, have children, have more children. There is more to a woman’s life than getting married/having children and society/culture has failed to demonstrate this to girls  and women. 

I believe that everyone needs to have their own individual identity and achievements before they start collapsing into relationships and motherhood.

We should see women in society as more than Mothers and wives. We should not judge women who put their careers first or marry after all their friends.

On a clock – before those wrinkles

There also seems to be a double standard. Nobody cares if a man doesn’t marry until he is 50 but a women needs to be married as soon as. You don’t see men being asked who they are hooking up with or if they want to be married and have kids. It is always the women.

There is an entire world of opportunities and we as women/girls should be exposed to. Women should not be dictated or confined to the certain perspectives of culture, society or gender stereotypes.

  • Definitely agreed with you there! I do not want children, and it’s rather surprising to see how many people I’ve come across that seem personally affronted by that decision!

    • At the end of the day it is your body. You should have a final say over what happens to your body. There seems to be this prescribed preconception of the way a woman should be in society and not a single prescribes label seems to be positive or a win situation for us.